Why Being Single is Great - Learning to Be Content

Today is Valentine's Day hooray... If you asked me why being single sucked on certain days, I could write a few books. I'm getting to that weird age where some of my (older) friends are starting to get engaged, most are getting into serious relationships, but I've still got a solid amount of single friends. As a guy who is oddly really into Pinterest, its hard not to think about weddings and who I'm going to marry, when, where, and if my bride to be will let me wear a navy suit or not. But God's been teaching me why I need this time of being single to grow and mature.

I've had my fair share of silly relationships, dumb mistakes and just flat out leaving God out of the equation. Obviously, that's worked out great so far. With a world that is so focused on relationships, marriage, and sex, its pretty easy to get caught up in it all and just say "Eh, what the heck. Can't be too bad right?" WRONG.

I've been able to really focus on growing in my faith and who I am, rather than constantly trying to change myself to impress a particular person (but what am I saying, we all know I'm devilishly charming). I've learned a lot about myself, I've found a boundless passion to go outdoors, camp, and rejuvenated my love for photography. Knowing how I've been in past relationships, I may have just stayed in my comfort zone, content to current experiences, routines and friends. Not that that's a bad thing, but being single has helped me find new interests and go outside my normal self. I've learned to enjoy time to myself: going to a park and just basking in the sun (when it comes out). Sure its not all rainbows and butterflies, of course I get a little sad when all my friends are in relationships and I suddenly feel like I'm not good enough, but its just a season. Some leaves have to fall before we can start seeing through the forest.

Paul even says in 1 Corinthians 7 that being single is good, not above nor below marriage, it's different: "And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life." (MSG) God has me in this season for a reason. (I feel like Rick's used that before, or maybe its just a flipped "Reason for the Season" Christmas deal, anyways, I digress...) And I don't have to know why. Why do I enjoy not knowing why? Because if I knew the answer to why I'm in this season, I wouldn't be able to appreciate God's hand in daily miracles. I'd miss out on moments in which I'm reminded of how much He truly loves me. Paul goes on to also talk about how being single gives you more time to devote to God and not get caught up in what can be the busyness of marriage.

I've been learning about how my character now will reflect later in marriage, because marriage magnifies everything: it makes the good better, but the bad things even worse. I need to work on my character now so that it won't impact my relationships and marriage later. I've been learning about how I need this time of being single to really develop into my own person and work on my personal relationship with God and really just falling in love with Him. Right now, I'm content with being single. Sometimes my definition of love is wrong: sometimes when I say God loves me I'm thinking about a love of a more passive God, as C.S Lewis puts it, "whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be truly said at the end of each day, 'a good time was had by all." But God's love is more than that. I know that I am still FIERCELY LOVED by a Father who is irretrievably in love with me, a love much like an artist who lavishes His love on His greatest creation. But being content doesn't automatically make my desires disappear. Being content is a decision, not a feeling. It's the willingness to be satisfied with what God has given you today.

No matter how much I tell myself that marriage and who I'm going to meet is in God's hands, I can't help but think about how I might meet her or who it might be. Instead, I've been learning to think about trying to become who the person I’m looking for is looking for, rather than just constantly looking for that person. I need to stop constantly yearning to be in a relationship or getting stuck in dreams of marriage.

Is this me proclaiming celibacy and preaching you to do the same? Absolutely NOT. Relationships and marriage are amazing things that God created for us. Is this a lame excuse for why I'm single? I hope not. How will I know when I'm ready to be in a relationship? I'm not sure at all. But I think once I start learning to realize that God alone is enough for me, I'll be one step closer.

And for those of you asking what my plans are for today, I've got a hot date with my skis at Alpental tonight!